the flynnoreks.

considering i've been away from the blogging world for almost a year now, i figured the first post upon return should be something special. something epic. something awesome. so here goes...

congratulations to the new flynnoreks*!!!

the bouquets at the head table

the place cards

the centerpieces

table #1

i was honored to be a part of the celebration of their nuptials this past weekend back in pittsburgh and i could not be any happier for the both of them. :)

 

i'm also so thankful to them for giving me the opportunity to produce all of the graphic work for their wedding, from the save the dates all the way through to the programs and centerpieces. it was a ton of fun and i loved doing it all for such a special occasion.

 

congratulations, again. wishing you many years of love and happiness to come. :)

*corey and gail have not actually adopted the name, flynnorek. this was purely a celebrity-esque couple name/time-saver.

carnivale!!!

pizzburrrrr!!!

last weekend was cmu's spring carnival. as my first year as an alumna, and seeing as i don't actually remember having a normal carnival, i hauled butt down to good ol' pittsburgh.

good weekend, good food, good people.

delicious fusion sushi from seviche.

seriously. this was amazing. i also had a hamachi ceviche with this meal. it was delicious. holy cow. love ceviche.

mmm...breakfast crepe from crepes parisienne.

some art installation in cfa.

it was paper rope. i just wanted to climb it.

we then checked out the maya lin exhibit at carnegie museum of art.

i think my favorite parts of the maya lin exhibit were the negative models of the caspian and red seas, and a figure ground of the colorado river made out of silver. the latter was very striking against a white background. the first two were just seriously awesome looking models. good to know what the bottom of said seas looks like. unfortunately, as a special exhibit, there was no photography allowed. so...you should look it up.

we did get to hang out and wander around midway a lot more though. the theme this year was as seen on tv, so understandably, multiple cartoons made their appearances in booth-form.

SAE's frozen banana stand à la arrested development.

the peanuts booth by mayur-sasa.

inside the alice in wonderland booth.

some of the other booths: 
ASA's looney tunes,
sigep's spongebob, 
and the acme labs in the flesh.

after awhile, i realized i was too old for this s***. so i hung out with anna and smingle for the most part, and played a bunch of chill, no pressure ultimate, in the money mellons alumni game and the hot metal women's hat tournament (fouling fedoras ftw!). the mellons were seriously the sweetest and the best and got me one of their reversibles that they ordered this year. i was definitely jealous when i first saw those. and now i've got my own. thank you, money mellons!!!

oh, college.

then it was time to peace out back to boston and the job search. and a second interview with cube 3 studio *fingers crossed real hard*. this part was definitely not my best flying experience.

the itty bitty propeller plane.

so this flight was terrifying. a) the plane was tiny. b) the left propeller was right outside my window. not exactly what i want to be watching while the itty bitty plane vibrates its way to cleveland.

overall, still a fun weekend. once again, very much delicious food-filled, starting with dinner at seviche and ending the trip with a good old smashed potato pizza from fuel 'n' fuddle.

hey guys, we should hang out again sometime. :)

where in the world is carmen sandiego?

went to go see ROCKAPELLA last night with smingle and arlie!!! :D it was AWESOME.  the show got opened by pittsburgh's own DoubleShot, who's got some serious talent of their own. crazy.

and, of course, the encore of "where in the world is carmen sandiego??". it was a must-have.

so glad that poster in the UC caught my eye. worth it.

could've done without the trip of 16-year-old school choir girls, but hey. still worth it.

:) what a great end-of-year treat.

topped off the night with a trip to the 24hr IHOP. haven't quite decided if the post-IHOP nausea made that trip quite as worth it, but all-in-all, definitely a good night.

DO IT, ROCKAPELLA!!!

turkey for me.

so i just got back this morning from thanksgiving 2010 in boston.  as well as catching up on the crazy amounts of zzzs that i had missed out on during the semester, i once again spent thanksgiving with the magils. :) had plenty of fun with plenty to nom. and got to hang out with friends, old and new, to pass the time. aside from the fiasco of trying to get back to campus this morning, and aside from the fact that it was a little too short, it was still a good break.

tuesday AM: wake up ass-early to catch the 28X to the airport. pretty smooth sailing. get to boston. decide to plant myself in the arrival terminal to finish some homework before heading home so as to not get distracted by the warm, toasty bed and pass out before i can get my work done. one hour later, on the way home by t. get home. mess around on the computer a bit before passing the fuck out for about five hours. :) good choice, me.

tuesday PM: wake up to some B-cuddles. spend the rest of the night chilling and just hanging out back with familiar company. plenty of time to catch up on some hulus with B. 30 rock. community. glee. you name it. we gots it. boom.

wednesday AM: was pretty much non-existent for me. (see next point.)

wednesday PM: finally wake up at 1:23pm. aaaawwwww yea! that's what i call a good night's sleep! spend the rest of the day putting together shuffle video, which i'm having trouble getting to work right now. lame. but at least i got to start getting familiar with adobe premiere pro. it's schnazzy, but definitely useful. just got some kinks i need to learn first. i discovered the game of spore. weird. definitely weird. learned that the history of living creatures was so much cuter and more fun and simpler when they were hopping around without any worries or stresses of "society". :P also, learned that i am a creative genius when it comes to designing, creating and naming said creatures. everybody, meet B-rickshithaus.

thursday AM: happy turkey day morning!!! get up to start preparations for stuffing myself silly with delicious turkey day goodness. :)

thursday PM: TURKEY TIME!!! nomnomnom...

friday AM: wake up to head to the gym for some training, only to discover that it wasn't going to happen. something about being stuck in NH. umfortunate. so our schedule got rearranged to get stuff to make a beauty dish for B. that...was harder than expected. who doesn't sell cheap, plastic bowls anymore?!

friday PM: spend the rest of the day recovering from turkey day food coma (by stuffing ourselves more with qdoba deliciousness, clearly).  put the thingymajiggy beauty dish together (also tougher than expected due to small alterations for a different flash model than designed for). but overall, pretty productive.

saturday AM: gym time hooha!! rescheduled gym time for 10:30am. slightly delayed, but still good for post-turkey day recovery. lost count of the number of squats that were performed by all involved. good times. :) now to get the same work and soreness out of my core.

saturday PM: meet up with LL and fechfech and brayden for some chinatown nomnoms. considering quite the nerves involved with ordering for the table due to being the token eyjen. hopefully everyone left that meal all full of delicious nomnoms. :) the plan had been to go skating at frog pond, but one step out of the park st. stop and "heeeeell no! i'd like to not die from cold, blistery winds, thank you very much!" s'okay. went to berryline in harvard sq. instead. mmm...then headed home to kill some time playing world of goo (weirdest game ever. almost.) later, headed out to JP to brayden's for some hanging out. come home to crawl into bed around 3am. i'm still recovering from the semester's lack of sleep. yea. let's go with that.

sunday AM: more turkey breakfast. mmm...turkey divan. turned out pretty well. tasty.

sunday PM: hangy-outy. mommumimmy while cuddled up in bed. before finally dragging ourselves out of bed to eat at jumbo's for some delicious honey hot tenders, a burger, garlic knots and a blast from the past in the form of mash. omnomnom.  home again for some 30rock. what a great way to end the night and a good break.

monday AM: wake up ass-early to catch my 7:00am flight back to pittsburgh. only to have it be delayed 45mins. get off the plane to power walk my way outa there and have the 9:15am 28X rush straight past me as i turn out of the terminal and towards the bus stop. so much for making my first class. maybe i can make it in late if i just get on the 9:45am bus. no dice. 2nd bus is a no show. 10:15am rolls around. no show. there's some news that one bus broke down on the highway. ass. now i'm close to missing my second class of the day. bus finally shows up around 10:30am. get in in time to only be 5mins late and still not the latest one. this morning could have gone better. thanks, port authority. needed that.

monday PM: grab some noms, decide i'm too burned out to keep working. head home. writing this blog. heading to bed.

mmm...turkey day. it's a keeper.





on another note: snrt.

we are the leaders of it all.

i'm back at cmu for my fifth and final year. having just finished my first week back, i'm already up to my eyeballs in things to do. i'm still captaining the cmu money mellons, leading practices, planning practices, finding solutions to adding more practices. i'm starting a new ta gig with a first year architectural history class. i've already had a freakout that i wouldn't be able to graduate thanks to some system glitch that said i hadn't taken enough university electives. cleared up that mess with heather. i am still going to graduate on time. thank god. i'm almost completely moved into the gulag and am really liking the set-up of my room. puppy is safely back with me in pittsburgh. she's still just as aloof, fluffy and poopy as before and seems to be settling into her new home for the year pretty well.

this is going to be a long year...

early morning without warning/woke me with a scare.

:: quick recap of summer 2010 (by category of events) ::


work
i essentially spent the summer working for the national park service. initially, i was just an intern in their historic architecture program, which was actually quite interesting in itself since it consisted of working at/for various sites, including the adams national historic park, the frederick law olmsted national historic site, and the nps regional office in lowell, doing things like helping them photo document the site and the house, cataloging their historic items, database entry, architectural descriptions, with a little CAD-ing thrown in. then, since my summer budget was winding down a lot faster than i had planned, i "applied" for a contract editing job, didn't take 'no' for an answer, and spent half of july and all of august editing the historic structures report for the new bedford whaling museum as the last step of the editing process before the book went out for publishing. so that was pretty awesome. something i had a decently large part in is being published! it was an achievement. and the $2400 i got for the job wasn't a bad perk either.

club ultimate
after ending the college season of 2010 with a decent showing at sectionals and breaking seed to finish 5th (the same result as the year before, just sans approx. 10 seniors who had graduated), i jumped right into the club scene trying out for ballometrics, a mixed team out of boston, at bell crack, a co-ed tournament in philly. after making that first round of cuts, since starting tryouts (i started late in the process), i didn't feel like i was quite playing up to scratch and, surprisingly, not having as much fun as i would've liked with them. unsurprisingly, i got cut not long after in the next round of cuts. meh. no biggie. at that point, i hadn't really decided if i was really feeling the people on the team anyway. then, i decided to try my hand in the women's ultimate scene in boston, since my college coaches had pushed for me to play women's more anyway, and tried out for hatch. again, made the first round of cuts, which i was pretty happy with. unfortunately, i then followed that up with a couple of pretty embarrassingly bad practices. talk about conservation of greatness. who knew it applied to a much bigger picture. again, unsurprisingly due to my disappointing showing that week, i got cut. by this point, i was seriously burned out. had figured i'd just train and condition for the summer. get into better shape for the next college season and then try again next year. cue unexpected email from 7th wheel, another mixed team out of boston, sent out to ultimate players known to be in the tryout process for teams announcing their final tryout and an invitation to join them. for shits, i said "why not?". it's more practice in a tryout situation. what harm could it be? plus, another chance would be nice. day of, started off by appearing pretty damn stupid getting lost and going to the wrong fields. got there late. turned out we hadn't missed too much, so jumped right in. unfortunately, we also had another event planned later that day and had to leave early. so here was my thinking: i got here late (super late in the whole process), and have to leave early. man, i must look like a jerk. two days later, to my surprise, i get an email offering me a spot on the team. well, crap. i was burned out. but excited! i would end up playing for the club season after all! :) so far so good. i'm happy i've gotten the chance to gel and play with a great group of people and having fun. i feel terrible for having to start school so early, but i'll still be flying back to boston for club sectionals on sept. 10th. again, excited. :D

7th wheel after our first tournament win!


summer club ultimate
i came back for another season with merge. we had quite a decent season, though again with a bunch of frustrations and annoyances. ended on a decent note. didn't get to where we wanted to be at the end of the tournament, but that's okay. had a great day one, going 4-0 against some pretty alright teams. day two, we tanked. the weather was meh. we had lost a few people. energy was low. errors were high. it was unfortunate. but we got to end the season with a fun team pre-tourney dinner at brayden's and a post-tourney meal at heidi's.


miscellaneous, but still awesome
-  got to go to DC with aaron. :) even if i spent half the time either in terrible pain or nauseous as all hell, it was still a good trip and i'm glad we got to do it. p.s. the national zoo is awesome! and free! which makes it more awesome. seriously, the number of photos we collectively take at zoos is ridiculous.
-  for the pre-tourney dinner, we whipped up a batch of chocolate guinness cupcakes from a recipe i had randomly found online awhile back. they were delicious. seriously. so good. i really should try and find time to make some more this year and share their glorious existence with everyone here.
-  went to the franklin park zoo. yup. more zooing. more ridiculous photos. it was brilliant.
-  watched a bunch of movies: despicable me (twice! so adorable!), karate kid, iron man 2, shrek in 3d, inception (so good! want to see it again.)
-  went to my first red sox game. it was the sox vs. d-backs. so much fun. we won. got some adorable photos out of it. yay. :) another thing off my bucket list.
-  went to toad & katie's wedding. it was beautiful. congratulations to them! i wish them all the best! :)
-  wildwood. won hardware - best in bracket, bitches!! didn't get ridiculously sunburned. had a lot of fun. may have given myself first degree burns on the bottoms of my feet from running on the sun-baked sand a whole lot.
-  had puppy come with me this summer! :) she lived with me in my room all summer and, though i may have developed an allergy thanks to all her shedding, i'm so happy she made the trip with me this summer. :)

summer 2010 :: it's a win in my book.

happy birthday to...me...?

i'm 22. damn. when did that happen?

i guess it hadn't really it me that i was turning 22 until we were getting ready to head off to some tournament in the fall and at least one of the rookies came and found me at practice to let me know her waiver will be coming in very last minute because she needed to mail it home and have her mom sign the chaperone form [note: only for under 18s]. damn. i'm old.

anyhoo, as per usual, my birthday came and went with pretty much no event. pretty eventless. had a terrible start to the day even before i managed to get some sleep. woke up early to head out to 8:30am practice only to find none but one [and the coaches] had bothered to do the same. thank you for wasting our time. :P sat around a little. waited until my partner for studio came in so we could finalize our board and plot it in time for mid-review in studio at 1:30pm. boring. more stressful than necessary. mid-reviews came and went. i presented and bailed into some other studio/up to the clusters to futz around some more. already exhausted beyond belief, i headed up to geagle to restock up on the greens for Puppy dearest. stopped by a couple of stores to search for that ever-evasive winter aviator hat that i've been looking for. no such luck. headed home to drop stuff off and grab my computer gear to head out to anna and john's for some good ol' take out thai food. delicious. guess it serves as some semblance of a birthday meal. no cake. but that's okay. got to get my new laptop, a birthday present from the parents, with rhino. meant to get other stuff too, but that shit fell through. now i'm back here. in my apartment. remember that i still need to pack, clean up the apartment, feed the bunny and study for a quiz for which i have no idea what to study all tonight since i then take the quiz tomorrow and then hope on a bus to the airport, which would then take me to hop on a plane out of town until the end of spring break.

so all in all, not a great birthday. could've been better. thought for once, there might be more to it. but oh well.

but man! spring break!


so here's the plan:
mar. 4-8 - boston, ma. with my B having the best date and birthday weekend ever.
mar. 8-11 - brunswick, ga. for high tide. i'm excited. three full days of sun, sand, ultimate and partying. baller.
mar. 13-14 - philly, pa. for philly classic. again, excited. this should be fun. and new. and challenging. all good things.

consensus = awesome. i plan on coming back to pittsburgh tanned, sunburned, sore, grassburned, bruised...and grinning like an idiot. fingers crossed this actually happens.

wish me luck! :)

my new pooter! :) all new and shiny...and now covered in stickers.

rockin' high tops and sayin' no to stilettos.

after much persuasion and convincing by the city council and much bitterness by administration in response, cmu had a four day weekend. ridiculous. it snowed about 2-3ft friday night. and pittsburgh, being pittsburgh, had no idea what to do with that. like, literally no idea. we're talking about a city who hasn't even quite gotten dealing with 2-3inches of snow right yet. nothing was plowed, nothing was shoveled. it was a snowpocalypse.

this has also most definitely been the hardest, or longest, i've ever partied. thanks to the casbah.
friday = "warming up"
saturday = "no winter league? still rockin'"
sunday = "the superbowl" followed by "snow day!"
monday = "connect 4" aka. "second snow day!!"
tuesday = "one for the thumb" aka. "snowpocalypse, day 5"

almost 100% sure i haven't made it back to my place and into bed before 3am all weekend, with the record of only getting to bed at around 5am last night/this morning. realizing this upon waking up at 1:30pm today...damn...

this has also, on record, been the least stressful weekend of my life. seriously. i couldn't have been happier. i couldn't have been more full of energy. and while i am positive that pittsburgh is already well on its way to becoming yet another massively dreary and slushy mess, i absolutely have the ass load of snow that got dumped on us to thank for that. so thank you. :) [p.s. its snowing again. we're expecting another 6-inches. damn.]

::photos of snowpocalypse to come::

we're where the freeway stretches out like pop songs.

today was the field trip to Evergreen Hamlet in Millvale, PA. it's about 20mins north of CMU. here are just a few shots i liked :)

the funky, triskelion-esque oculus window from the attic.

they had two giant schnauzers. it was awesome. :)

ceiling detail in the foyer.

lights in the dining room.

 

bendy staircase up from the kitchen. over one of the many doors to the outside. | flowers and pane of rose glass on the foyer table.

an old spinner-turned-desk. cool, no? | one of the awkward hallways up in the attic. seriously. it led to that window.

there's more...but blogspot's being slow. :P maybe later.

dreidel, dreidel, dreidel! i made it out of clay!

winter break plans:
dec. 11th - 18th - BOSTON (Chez Shavit)
dec. 11th - 18th - HAPPY HANNUKAH!!! :)
dec. 18th - jan. 4th - HONG KONG (Chez Moi)
dec. 25th - MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! :)
jan. 1st - HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! :)
jan. 4th - 10th - BOSTON (Chez Magil)
jan. 10th - back to PITTSBURGH 

meet dug. i have just met him. and i love him. :)

thank you, B! <3

what a wonderful world this would be.

mmm...i love the signs of fall. the weather's so much better. not too hot. not too cold. and everything just gets prettier.

here's hoping it lasts longer this year than the last. stupid pittsburgh.

 

view from hunt. pretty...

'cause tonight's the night the world begins again.

that was absolutely, hands-down, the best four days of the semester/academic year so far.

B CAME TO TOWN!!! :)


there was much b-dorableness. and although we didn't get to do all the things we had planned/wanted to, it was still totally worth it.

so him coming to pittsburgh was completely up in the air. until i found out that i have the mileage with continental to just cash in for a free domestic round-trip ticket. then there was the matter of finding time. oh hey! mid-semester break! sounds like a plan!

B came to pittsburgh. we got to walk around campus and see all the new foodings. we got go down to the waterfront and see a good movie, whip it, and then get stranded there before finally walking part of the way back through shit weather. we got to play some ultimate, and B played with yuk again. we got to watch part of the casbah's post-practice beer pong tournament. we got to eat at eat unique and food for thought again. we got to use my pullout couch and hang out, cuddle and watch movies in my apartment. we got to play with puppy. we got to chill at home and order take out. we got to cook and enjoy gyoza.

basically, for four days, we got to go back to our old habits and just enjoy each other. for four days, i got to forget all the lousy shit that's been going on in my cmu life. for four days, we got to be happy again. with each other, in each other's arms and company. it was perfect.

B's now back in boston, 500 miles away, and i've got final deadlines coming up. but right after that...thanksgiving! i'll be back with my B, for more fun times and more hanging out and more happy and more memories. i can't wait. the next 35 days had better fly by like never before, or i'm going to slap a suckah.

having you back in my life was such a breath of fresh air. it made me so much happier, no matter how short-lived. i, unfortunately, chose not to see the crashing-back-down that would happen immediately afterwards, but hey. shit happens. things'll look back up come thanksgiving. and until then, we'll chat. and text. and videochat. and although that really doesn't even come close to the real thing. i think we'll make do. we can do this. i can't wait to be back in your arms again.

love you, B. <3

happy birthday/hannukah. :-*

35 days, baby!! :)

all my bags are packed. i'm ready to go.

my B gets here in less than a week!!!!!!







...i'm psyched.

g20-ness.

d'awwwww...

g20 shanty town @ the fence

yea. no f-ing idea.

more shanty-town-ing...

archis. keeping it classy.

awkward big head thingies...yea. i have no idea.

read 'em. and judge.

...and again. oh, cmu...

get serious like crazy.

so G20 craziness going on this weekend. half the campus is shut down. security has been upped like whoa. i haven't managed a walk down into oakland, but i'm betting it's looking pretty ridic.

what with bill gates and australia's rep coming onto campus, suffice it to say security on campus has gone through the roof. this is all going to be followed by a conference/meeting/dealio at phipps conservatory right behind campus. hence, the back half of the campus has been closed down and classes in those buildings cancelled. i just happen to have class...in the buildings next to/between the ones being shut down. grrreeeeaaat...

what i got to walk past on my way off campus:

<-- at first, about 10 police officers stationed every five feet outside warner hall. checking IDs of everyone attempting to get inside. fyi, this is the building where the hub and whatnot are, so ie. not a small amount of traffic.




then, i walked around the corner.
that's about 50+ officers waiting outside cyert to be dispersed all over campus.
not to mention the 30+ who joined them later. and did i mention they were all packed with cable-tie handcuffs, batons and whatnot?

well, at least it's making this start to the year all the more eventful...

golden lips and cherry wine. moonshine in your hair.

the room's finished. and it looks pretty friggin' sweet. next up? the exterior of the house! except, let's leave this one up to the professionals, yea? ;)

how the hell is it august already? the buda scl tournament is this weekend, and i fly out the weekend after that back to pittsburgh. boo that.

in some ways, i guess this summer has been as productive as it could've been seeing as the whole job/internship-search dealio fell through. multiple times. but seriously. after having so many summers not quite go as planned, i was hoping this one would be different. i was hoping this one would actually be good. with minimal hiccups. not so much. everything just could've/should've...gone better.

i guess i got to go to a couple more tournaments this summer, with the comedy of errors, wildwood and the buda tourney. and i guess in lieu of a job i spent the summer stripping, cleaning and painting a bedroom. and i guess i got in more hanging out with other people than i normally would have back in hk. and i guess i got to spend it in boston like i had originally wanted. but other than all the stuff before summer in boston actually "started", going to watch nationals and visiting jess in london, nothing really went as planned. it became a summer that i just had to wing as i went along. the first summer that i decide to plan all for myself on my own just didn't turn out to be quite as satisfying as i had hoped.

and now i have to start preparing myself for another year back at cmu that i am certainly not ready for. fourth year of architecture school. one year closer to the real world. new studio space in cfa. my class schedule looks pretty good and chill. though something tells me that newly opened space in my timetable will soon be replaced with even more studio time. just a hunch. it's going to be life back at cmu, but missing a couple of key players. and adding a couple more responsibilities. things are going to be just that little bit emptier. and to compensate i'm probably going to get just that little bit busier. to kill time. to take my mind of things. i'm worried, afraid and nervous for how things could turn out. hopefulness has never been my forte. i'm more a worst-case-scenario kind of person. not that i'm boasting about it. just saying. no one is really proud of that surge of trepidation at the thought of the prospects of the near future, but it doesn't stop it from happening no matter how fleeting that feeling is.

pittsburgh. it's fine as a college town. but i'm pretty sure i'm going to have had more than my fill of it by the time spring 2011 rolls around.

her world collapsed early sunday morning.

not knowing where to call home, where you belong, where you'll feel most welcome. not knowing where will _feel_ like home.

there's knowing where you need to be. it's where someone needs to be for something important like school or a job location that you've been sent to. it's not exactly somewhere you've chosen to be because of it's location necessarily or that you really know much about it. but it's somewhere you end up because life choices have led you there by assignment. i'm in pittsburgh for most of year because i need to be. it's where i applied to and ended up in university. i don't love the place, and given the option, i don't think i'd choose to move there for any other reason, but it's where i've ended up because of previous life and career decisions. it made sense at the time, and i had no real objections to it. i don't mind it.

there's knowing where you should be. it's where your family is, where your roots are. again, this location is not really by your own choices, but by the luck of the draw. it's where choices before you were made and so you ended up there. for awhile, it happens to be where it makes sense to go back to whenever you need somewhere to go. even though i was brought up for most of my life in hong kong, it doesn't mean that, given the choice, i would choose to move there just because i feel like it. it just happens to be where i go back to because i still have family there. i like the city scene, but i could never live directly in one. i like peace and quiet, but i can't be that removed. hk isn't exactly a place that automatically brings images of sprawling, tranquil suburbs to mind. it's not where i'd choose to be, but again, it makes sense from time to time. and i don't mind it. in small doses.


then there's knowing where you want to be. or where you thought you did. it's the place you've come to love, and the place you've come to feel happy to come back to. it's completely voluntary and under your control. and because of this, it's where you feel most free. it's where you want to fit in because it all makes sense to you now, in the moment. it's not really describable. there aren't really any tangible reasons. but it's what you want. i've come to really like boston, maybe even love it. having only spent two years here at the end of high school, that may sound a little strange and rash. but hey, i don't know what it is. i've come back every break since, no matter how long or short that visit has been. whereas in hk, i barely know anyone anymore, i still have friends here and people i somewhat know. whereas pittsburgh is there for school, here i can live a little less stressed in a place that has come to be more and more familiar to me as time has gone by.

but what if all those distinctions change? what if where you need to be ceases to really feel like a necessity to you anymore because you see another way? what if where you should be has just suddenly turned into somewhere you don't want to be? and what if the situation where you want to be has changed to the point where you wonder why on earth it was that you wanted to come back here in the first place? distinctions have been altered to the point where the lines defining your reasons are blurred. one reason has morphed into another and what was a "need" became a "should", what you "should" you don't want to think about, and what you "want" just doesn't feel right and has become just that little bit bleaker.

do you stay, figure out what changed, and fix it? or do you move on to find new places to fit those distinctions?

i mean, i'm pretty adventurous with some things. but i have to admit that latter option doesn't really do much except scare, intimidate and stress the bejeezus out of me. is that a life decision/choice dictating what my next step could potentially be?

i think it just might be.