dancing at discos. eating cheese on toast.

stop bursting my happy bubbles.

and happy bubbles? grow a pair. stop getting burst.

kthx.

what a wonderful world this would be.

mmm...i love the signs of fall. the weather's so much better. not too hot. not too cold. and everything just gets prettier.

here's hoping it lasts longer this year than the last. stupid pittsburgh.

 

view from hunt. pretty...

'cause tonight's the night the world begins again.

that was absolutely, hands-down, the best four days of the semester/academic year so far.

B CAME TO TOWN!!! :)


there was much b-dorableness. and although we didn't get to do all the things we had planned/wanted to, it was still totally worth it.

so him coming to pittsburgh was completely up in the air. until i found out that i have the mileage with continental to just cash in for a free domestic round-trip ticket. then there was the matter of finding time. oh hey! mid-semester break! sounds like a plan!

B came to pittsburgh. we got to walk around campus and see all the new foodings. we got go down to the waterfront and see a good movie, whip it, and then get stranded there before finally walking part of the way back through shit weather. we got to play some ultimate, and B played with yuk again. we got to watch part of the casbah's post-practice beer pong tournament. we got to eat at eat unique and food for thought again. we got to use my pullout couch and hang out, cuddle and watch movies in my apartment. we got to play with puppy. we got to chill at home and order take out. we got to cook and enjoy gyoza.

basically, for four days, we got to go back to our old habits and just enjoy each other. for four days, i got to forget all the lousy shit that's been going on in my cmu life. for four days, we got to be happy again. with each other, in each other's arms and company. it was perfect.

B's now back in boston, 500 miles away, and i've got final deadlines coming up. but right after that...thanksgiving! i'll be back with my B, for more fun times and more hanging out and more happy and more memories. i can't wait. the next 35 days had better fly by like never before, or i'm going to slap a suckah.

having you back in my life was such a breath of fresh air. it made me so much happier, no matter how short-lived. i, unfortunately, chose not to see the crashing-back-down that would happen immediately afterwards, but hey. shit happens. things'll look back up come thanksgiving. and until then, we'll chat. and text. and videochat. and although that really doesn't even come close to the real thing. i think we'll make do. we can do this. i can't wait to be back in your arms again.

love you, B. <3

happy birthday/hannukah. :-*

35 days, baby!! :)

i wanna hold you high and steal your pain.

so yet again, i'm broken. and out of action.

i recently went to the upmc to see an orthopedic physician. basically, all they could tell me was what i had been hearing everywhere else. just in longer, more medical-sounding words. i apparently have some kind of cross between patellofemoral pain syndrome, aka. runner's knee, and patellar tendonitis, aka. jumper's knee. basically whatever physical action could possibly cause these pains, i've got it. and like everyone else i've seen, from the club sports trainer last year to the health services doctor to the upmc sports injury physician.

ultimately, it sounds like all i can do is rest it, ice it, and take an assload of ibuprofen for the swelling. unfortunately, it could also take months. i can't do that. it's already killing me that i have to force myself not to cleat up and actually try and run at every practice. i normally just end up giving in whenever a tournament comes around, and running myself into the ground all weekend.

the injury itself isn't so unbearable on its own. shit happens. i get that. granted, this might be the first time my knee pops for no reason. and i can't actually carry myself down stairs at all anymore. it used to hurt, but it was still doable. i actually broke down crying when i could shift something as easy as the coffee table when i tried pushing it with my foot. the right? moved fine. the left? wouldn't shift at all and all i get was a shooting pain through my left knee.

it's more that i can't stand being injured anymore. haven't recently come to the conclusion that i haven't been uninjured in the past 8 years or so...it's damn tiring. and frustrating. and i can't deal with it anymore. i don't want to be hurt anymore, but i also don't want to have to completely stop playing. i also don't want to hurt it more and more and end up needing surgery or something, which would take me out of the game for even longer. basically, i want too much. more than probably possible and i'm not willing to just give one up. i want to heal. but i also want to keep playing.

cross my fingers, i can focus more on conditioning over the winter than actually playing and work the muscles i need that, may not fix my knee, will help prevent it getting worse. maybe i won't do winter league this year. meeehhh...knowing me, i'll end up doing it anyway. f-...

anyone know where i can get a new set of knees? any help would be much appreciated.

all my bags are packed. i'm ready to go.

my B gets here in less than a week!!!!!!







...i'm psyched.