Tuesday, December 22, 2009

buy it, use it, break it, fix it, trash it, change it, mail-upgrade it.

the second, and last, of the kwan household vcrs has finally died.
after a good, long run of probably about 15 years, it has finally kicked the bucket.

our first one died awhile ago. but i guess no one really told any of the adults that this had happened, so it continued to sit in our dining room for many years to come until about yesterday, at which point it was asked what it was still doing in the living room when it failed to even so much as turn on.

the second one was found to also have ceased to function when jess and i planned our repeat of the long-time tradition of watching Home Alone at some point over the winter break. later, it was taken apart for examination/autopsy and it was found to have a random, loose piece that had been jiggling around inside it for quite some time and no one could actually identify where it came from or what it even was. suffice it to say, it was probably the safest bet for cause of death.

so ends the era of the vcr in the kwan home. with that being said, let it be mentioned that we still have a god-knows-how-old ld (laser disc) player sitting off to the corner waiting to be taken to the curb.


p.s. it's been sitting there for awhile.
p.p.s. awhile = approx. ten years.


what can i say? we're a family of packrats who still have about 20 lds, a cabinet full of vhs tapes,  boxes of cassette tapes, a stack of mds, and stacks of floppy discs all lying around somewhere in the house. all of these along with a typewriter, a fax machine or two, a few old radios, cd players, walkmen, an md player, other mp3 players, ancient "laptops" that would probably be able to crush a small child, generations of discarded cell phones (yes, beginning with the "turtle-style", as the chinese refer to it), and a wide variety of retired cameras (film and digital) are all part of the timeline of "technology: ancient to present". seriously. if i could take out all the crap that's lying around, no longer in use, and lay them out in the street in chronological order, i'm pretty sure my family alone would be able to create quite an extensive timeline demonstrating the development and progression of technology across all medias, from telecommunicative to audiovisual.

man, if i had the time, i absolutely would love to do it. document and display the transformation of various types of technology throughout time in the hong kong culture. with south east asia being the guinea pig region of portable technology, some transformed and progressed so fast, there wasn't even enough time for them to catch on and make their debuts in other countries. remember mds (mini discs) or lds (laser discs) or vcds (video cds)? chances are, if you're not from the area, your answer would be a big, fat 'no'. all of them actually worked fine, but like everything produced in this industry they had their flaws and disappeared to be replaced by newer, fancier, more portable products before you could even say the word 'upgrade'.

so is technology even worth investing in? its expensive when its new, and useless when its finally becomes cheap enough to afford because something newer and better, but again expensive, has come out and that old technology that was once "cool" is now a dying breed. granted, this might be more the case in places like hong kong and japan, and less so in the us and uk. but seriously, witnessing just how frequently local teenagers in hk change and upgrade their cell phones is quite ridiculous and by no means necessary. its just that the market changes so fast and teenagers here are just impressionable enough that said market is always going to have a target audience to count on to keep their businesses going.

damn kids. stupid technology.

now what are we going to do with the drawers of vhs tapes with quite possibly some of the best movies and tv shows ever recorded onto them??? i need my fill of Home Alones dammit! And not that lousy 3rd one with the kid, who's not a twelve-year-old Macauley Culkin and is really more lucky than street-smart! COME ON! IT'S TRADITION!

vocabulary:
ld = picture a cd, then scale it up until its about a foot in diameter. then imagine watching a movie halfway through and then having to get up and flip this 12-inch disc over because there was too much movie for memory of just the one side. you've got an ld.

md = take a floppy disc. scale it down until its about 2.5 x 2.5 inches. then approximately double its thickness. then imagine it in whatever crazy color or pattern you'd like. and put music on it, either from a cd, a cassette or even your own recording. you've got an md.

md player = imagine the size of an md. expand it by about 1/4 inch in every direction. then imagine it clicking open like a walkman to display a slot just the size of an md to slide into. you've got an md player. it plays music. whatever you chose to put on your crazily colored mds. or whatever you bought from your local music store.

vcd = the easiest of them all. imagine a cd. except it has a movie on it. well, half of a movie. again, too much movie for just one disc. so for a full movie, imagine two cds, each with half of a movie on them. boom. vcds. aka. predecessors to the dvd.

"turtle-style" = an old-fashioned flip phone, where there's a panel that flips off the bottom to form the mic part of the phone. in plan, it looks rectangular. but in profile, its somewhat trapezoidal, with the front of the phone being the long side and the back of the battery pack being the short. if you lay it on its back (on the battery side), it looks like a turtle on its back that's unable to flip itself back around to crawl away from your mischievous antics.

and it's a common misconception, but true without exception.

baller christmas / new years traditions that go on in the kwan household :
- watching Home Alone 1 + 2 (on vhs if possible, and then advancing technology for every copy not found thereafter)
- watching Love, Actually
- watching the Nutcracker ballet
- delicious chinese food
- watching some random, unrelated movie on new years eve and then only belatedly realizing that we have, yet again, missed the countdown into the new year
- delicious chinese desserts

Monday, December 21, 2009

dreams are nothing more than wishes, and a wish is just a dream wished to come true.



what is the science behind dreams?
why is it that the ones that stick out the most in our heads or are the easiest to remember are the bad ones?
if dreams really are our brains going kinda haywire in unconscious state of our own minds, why can't we ever remember them once we've woken up?

for example, i'm pretty sure the dreams i had the past couple of nights were pretty decent. not great, but definitely not nightmares. but i can't remember a single thing about any of them. however, i can remember pretty much every vivid detail about a nightmare i had almost a year ago. actually, probably over a year ago. it was terrifying. i was running all over what looked like a hybrid of the dana hall and cmu campuses, trying to escape from a ridiculous hoard of murderous spiders. [think harry and ron escaping from aragog and children in the chamber of secrets.] and then a certain someone can to try and save my ass, and consequently got shot in the chest. [by spiders?...y'know. them and their opposable thumbs...or any finger, for that matter.] i woke up before i got to find out if that person died or not. or if i finally got abducted and murdered by the swarm of ravenous spiders. dude. i don't even know what i did to them to piss them off. seriously. we should've killed that damn spider we found in the car. i swear that's what caused that stupid nightmare.

i can effortlessly recall moments of that nightmare. but i, for the life of me, can't remember a single good dream. not even scraps of one. lame as.

how do dreams work?
do we dream every night?
are nightmares the ones that stick just because we're scared of them? it's like ingraining a subconscious fear into our brains, whereas dreams are just there to be enjoyable, but not something that people typically carry with them forever? does that make sense?
or maybe its the way they end. a dream dissipates off gradually as you wake up, but a nightmare can be aggressive enough to just jolt you awake halfway through so it doesn't have a chance to just wear off before you regain consciousness.

whatever the reasoning, this is a shit deal.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

dreidel, dreidel, dreidel! i made it out of clay!

winter break plans:
dec. 11th - 18th - BOSTON (Chez Shavit)
dec. 11th - 18th - HAPPY HANNUKAH!!! :)
dec. 18th - jan. 4th - HONG KONG (Chez Moi)
dec. 25th - MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! :)
jan. 1st - HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! :)
jan. 4th - 10th - BOSTON (Chez Magil)
jan. 10th - back to PITTSBURGH 



meet dug. i have just met him. and i love him. :)
thank you, B! <3

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

i really think it's just a matter of time.

thanksgiving rundown.

tuesday:
* took off from PIT @ 7:37pm to land in IAD @ 8:49pm
* took off from IAD @ 10:15pm to land in BOS @ 11:34pm
* wait through crazy traffic to finally get picked up by my B!!!
* 30 Rock and awesomeness before passing out

wednesday:
* wake up
* lunch @ Johnny D's in davis sq. with LL!!!
* watch Gleeeeeeeee
* watch Definitely, Maybe
* get a long-awaited and much-needed massage...mmm...
* pass out. again.

thursday:
* wake up THANKSGIVING MORNING
* help out around the house - cleaning, cooking, whatnot
* have an absolutely fabulous thanksgiving meal
* be thankful :)
* more pie
* watch Up!
* more relaxing, massages and passing out. again.





thanksgiving breakfast!


 






snowman cookie!!






snowman cookie did some poos...





friday:
* wake up
* thanksgiving breakfast!
* harvard sq. for new converses and a haircut for B
* lunch with rob @ felipe's
* make stepford cookies, ginormo cookies and cookie snowmen
* leftover thanksgiving dinner
* more 30 Rock
* pass out.





B's mini stepford cookies!









all fresh and tasty!! 








my ginormo cookie vs. B's stepford cookie!!!
[i may have been overcompensating...]



saturday:
* wake up
* more thanksgiving breakfast
* Berryline :)
* more leftover thanksgiving dinner
* hang out with LL and Puck
* heading out to JP to hang out with mergelings
* more cookies and ice cream
* more 30 Rock
* pass out

sunday:
* wake up
* more thanksgiving breakfast
* meet meera for some adviseeness and more Berryline
* more leftover thanksgiving dinner
* more 30 Rock
* pass out

monday:
* brunch at Sound Bites in somerville with B :)
* head to Logan to head out back to PIT

overall:
* super productive break
* super fun
* pretty relaxing
* uber loads of fun times with my B :)

let's do it again some time. ;)

<3

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Friday, November 20, 2009

lean on me.

Sometimes in our lives
We all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you won't let show

You just call on me brother, when you need a hand (Chorus)
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Second Verse
(Chorus)

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me
(Chorus)
Call me (if you need a friend)
Call me (call me)
Call me (if you need a friend)
Call me (if you ever need a friend)
Call me (call me)
Call me
Call me (if you need A friend)

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

like shit.

i'm sick of waiting for texts when i'm expecting a response
waiting for emails when there should be a response
waiting for a fucking wall post when there are normally responses from other people
waiting for everything else that comes first in your life
i know what you're going to say
you spend more time talking to me than anyone else
we talk every night
we videochat and whatnot
but that's because you don't have anything else but work once in awhile going on
the second something else comes up, you're gone.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

welcome to hell month.


so we're through with that first week...

two more weeks to:
- plough through all my studio shit
- finish my plans, section, 3D digital model, physical model and my presentation board...
- not lose my mind
- get through running and going to practice until team dinner
- pack and get ready to fly out tuesday evening :)
- get ready to be back in boston
- get ready to be back in my B's arms :)
- not have a complete meltdown about every single aspect of my life

i can do this.



...i think. i hope.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

dancing at discos. eating cheese on toast.



stop bursting my happy bubbles.

and happy bubbles? grow a pair. stop getting burst.

kthx.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

what a wonderful world this would be.


mmm...i love the signs of fall. the weather's so much better. not too hot. not too cold. and everything just gets prettier.

here's hoping it lasts longer this year than the last. stupid pittsburgh.
 
view from hunt. pretty...

Monday, October 19, 2009

'cause tonight's the night the world begins again.

that was absolutely, hands-down, the best four days of the semester/academic year so far.

B CAME TO TOWN!!! :)


there was much b-dorableness. and although we didn't get to do all the things we had planned/wanted to, it was still totally worth it.

so him coming to pittsburgh was completely up in the air. until i found out that i have the mileage with continental to just cash in for a free domestic round-trip ticket. then there was the matter of finding time. oh hey! mid-semester break! sounds like a plan!

B came to pittsburgh. we got to walk around campus and see all the new foodings. we got go down to the waterfront and see a good movie, whip it, and then get stranded there before finally walking part of the way back through shit weather. we got to play some ultimate, and B played with yuk again. we got to watch part of the casbah's post-practice beer pong tournament. we got to eat at eat unique and food for thought again. we got to use my pullout couch and hang out, cuddle and watch movies in my apartment. we got to play with puppy. we got to chill at home and order take out. we got to cook and enjoy gyoza.

basically, for four days, we got to go back to our old habits and just enjoy each other. for four days, i got to forget all the lousy shit that's been going on in my cmu life. for four days, we got to be happy again. with each other, in each other's arms and company. it was perfect.

B's now back in boston, 500 miles away, and i've got final deadlines coming up. but right after that...thanksgiving! i'll be back with my B, for more fun times and more hanging out and more happy and more memories. i can't wait. the next 35 days had better fly by like never before, or i'm going to slap a suckah.

having you back in my life was such a breath of fresh air. it made me so much happier, no matter how short-lived. i, unfortunately, chose not to see the crashing-back-down that would happen immediately afterwards, but hey. shit happens. things'll look back up come thanksgiving. and until then, we'll chat. and text. and videochat. and although that really doesn't even come close to the real thing. i think we'll make do. we can do this. i can't wait to be back in your arms again.

love you, B. <3

happy birthday/hannukah. :-*

35 days, baby!! :)

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

i wanna hold you high and steal your pain.

so yet again, i'm broken. and out of action.

i recently went to the upmc to see an orthopedic physician. basically, all they could tell me was what i had been hearing everywhere else. just in longer, more medical-sounding words. i apparently have some kind of cross between patellofemoral pain syndrome, aka. runner's knee, and patellar tendonitis, aka. jumper's knee. basically whatever physical action could possibly cause these pains, i've got it. and like everyone else i've seen, from the club sports trainer last year to the health services doctor to the upmc sports injury physician.

ultimately, it sounds like all i can do is rest it, ice it, and take an assload of ibuprofen for the swelling. unfortunately, it could also take months. i can't do that. it's already killing me that i have to force myself not to cleat up and actually try and run at every practice. i normally just end up giving in whenever a tournament comes around, and running myself into the ground all weekend.

the injury itself isn't so unbearable on its own. shit happens. i get that. granted, this might be the first time my knee pops for no reason. and i can't actually carry myself down stairs at all anymore. it used to hurt, but it was still doable. i actually broke down crying when i could shift something as easy as the coffee table when i tried pushing it with my foot. the right? moved fine. the left? wouldn't shift at all and all i get was a shooting pain through my left knee.

it's more that i can't stand being injured anymore. haven't recently come to the conclusion that i haven't been uninjured in the past 8 years or so...it's damn tiring. and frustrating. and i can't deal with it anymore. i don't want to be hurt anymore, but i also don't want to have to completely stop playing. i also don't want to hurt it more and more and end up needing surgery or something, which would take me out of the game for even longer. basically, i want too much. more than probably possible and i'm not willing to just give one up. i want to heal. but i also want to keep playing.

cross my fingers, i can focus more on conditioning over the winter than actually playing and work the muscles i need that, may not fix my knee, will help prevent it getting worse. maybe i won't do winter league this year. meeehhh...knowing me, i'll end up doing it anyway. f-...

anyone know where i can get a new set of knees? any help would be much appreciated.

Friday, October 9, 2009

all my bags are packed. i'm ready to go.

my B gets here in less than a week!!!!!!







...i'm psyched.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

g20-ness.

d'awwwww...

g20 shanty town @ the fence

yea. no f-ing idea.

more shanty-town-ing...

archis. keeping it classy.


awkward big head thingies...yea. i have no idea.


read 'em. and judge.


...and again. oh, cmu...

Thursday, September 24, 2009

get serious like crazy.

so G20 craziness going on this weekend. half the campus is shut down. security has been upped like whoa. i haven't managed a walk down into oakland, but i'm betting it's looking pretty ridic.

what with bill gates and australia's rep coming onto campus, suffice it to say security on campus has gone through the roof. this is all going to be followed by a conference/meeting/dealio at phipps conservatory right behind campus. hence, the back half of the campus has been closed down and classes in those buildings cancelled. i just happen to have class...in the buildings next to/between the ones being shut down. grrreeeeaaat...

what i got to walk past on my way off campus:

<-- at first, about 10 police officers stationed every five feet outside warner hall. checking IDs of everyone attempting to get inside. fyi, this is the building where the hub and whatnot are, so ie. not a small amount of traffic.




then, i walked around the corner.
that's about 50+ officers waiting outside cyert to be dispersed all over campus.
not to mention the 30+ who joined them later. and did i mention they were all packed with cable-tie handcuffs, batons and whatnot?

well, at least it's making this start to the year all the more eventful...

happy [belated] birthday to B.


see? i'm terrible at journal-keeping. oh well.

SCHMAPPY SCHMURFDAY, BEEEEEEE!!! <3>

Monday, September 7, 2009

new injury.

ripped my left quad.

awesome.

Friday, September 4, 2009

dizzy in my head. spin like a record.

you make me happy. if you're ever in doubt. listen.

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile

:) this one's for you.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

one down...and i'm out of here.

one week down. twelve [and a bit] more to go.

i can do that, right? it's that fucking with your mentality thing. were i worry about it day by day, i'd have to think about the 85 individual days i have left. were i to think about it in months, however...well, the word "month" just implies a much long time period anyway, so that's just a ridiculous way to go about things. but "weeks".

weeks is the perfect denomination in which to think about something like this. and because i am who i am, i'm going to think about it every once in awhile regardless, so i might as well go about it in the best way possible. its a doable length, having just gone through my first one, and the number of them between now and thanksgiving is not down to twelve, a very reasonable number. one i think i can deal with. not enjoy, or really be happy about, but deal and survive.

y'know, i figured it would feel lonelier being back here. without two of the people i could talk to most. maybe more than that if you just look at the end of last year. it just puts a damper on everything i do. like studio. i'll do it. and i can get through it, but it doesn't ever mean i actually want to be there nor will i get all that excited about it anymore. then there's ultimate. it's something i've loved for years, and at cmu it's something that's kept me sane when studio's become too much. but even that doesn't hold much excitement or something to look forward to anymore. again, i'll go through the motions, but not with great zest or anything. its something i'm doing because i know i should be doing it. it's not a distraction anymore. it's a responsibility.

it's a possibility these feelings will fade and get better as time goes on. i hope they do. for the most part. for now, i guess that's what cell phones, laptops and internet connections are for.

do you still read post secret? heck, you probably don't even read this. oh well...*shrug*

Monday, August 24, 2009

wish you were here.

i can't believe i'm back in pittsburgh. about to start classes in about 45mins. and missing a significant part of my life.

it feels like i can't do this. it feels like its too hard. i should have realized when i came back you wouldn't be coming with me. i wouldn't find you riding your bike towards me the first day back on campus. i thought i had. i guess i had in theory. just not quite thought of the practice. i'm not prepared. you said thanksgiving will be here before i know it. is it here yet? if not, then its not soon enough.

it feels so empty...

...i'm wishing so hard.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

my life as defined by my injuries.

both knees.
both ankles.
both wrists.
lower back.
left shoulder.
right elbow.
left (?) hip.
left hamstring.
left quad.

and yet, i have yet to injure anything bad enough that it's required surgery. nor have i broken anything. nor had stitches. interesting. *knock on wood*

Friday, August 14, 2009

somewhere over the rainbow.

japanese fusion residential architecture in somerville. weird.

...and then the rainbow came!


Thursday, August 13, 2009

just a city boy born and raised in south detroit.

























these make me smile. i want my own stop sign to remind me to never stop believing.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

golden lips and cherry wine. moonshine in your hair.

the room's finished. and it looks pretty friggin' sweet. next up? the exterior of the house! except, let's leave this one up to the professionals, yea? ;)

how the hell is it august already? the buda scl tournament is this weekend, and i fly out the weekend after that back to pittsburgh. boo that.

in some ways, i guess this summer has been as productive as it could've been seeing as the whole job/internship-search dealio fell through. multiple times. but seriously. after having so many summers not quite go as planned, i was hoping this one would be different. i was hoping this one would actually be good. with minimal hiccups. not so much. everything just could've/should've...gone better.

i guess i got to go to a couple more tournaments this summer, with the comedy of errors, wildwood and the buda tourney. and i guess in lieu of a job i spent the summer stripping, cleaning and painting a bedroom. and i guess i got in more hanging out with other people than i normally would have back in hk. and i guess i got to spend it in boston like i had originally wanted. but other than all the stuff before summer in boston actually "started", going to watch nationals and visiting jess in london, nothing really went as planned. it became a summer that i just had to wing as i went along. the first summer that i decide to plan all for myself on my own just didn't turn out to be quite as satisfying as i had hoped.

and now i have to start preparing myself for another year back at cmu that i am certainly not ready for. fourth year of architecture school. one year closer to the real world. new studio space in cfa. my class schedule looks pretty good and chill. though something tells me that newly opened space in my timetable will soon be replaced with even more studio time. just a hunch. it's going to be life back at cmu, but missing a couple of key players. and adding a couple more responsibilities. things are going to be just that little bit emptier. and to compensate i'm probably going to get just that little bit busier. to kill time. to take my mind of things. i'm worried, afraid and nervous for how things could turn out. hopefulness has never been my forte. i'm more a worst-case-scenario kind of person. not that i'm boasting about it. just saying. no one is really proud of that surge of trepidation at the thought of the prospects of the near future, but it doesn't stop it from happening no matter how fleeting that feeling is.

pittsburgh. it's fine as a college town. but i'm pretty sure i'm going to have had more than my fill of it by the time spring 2011 rolls around.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

another sunny afternoon walking to the sound of my favorite tune.

breakfast: the most important meal of the day...regardless of the time of day. :) best post-practice meal to date.

sound bites @ broadway and josephine in somerville.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

follow the yellow brick road.

ah...so its a left onto nbrnghse...rd?

Monday, July 27, 2009

fireworks flying whenever we're together.



friday night fireworks from the hotel. taken with my cell phone.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

all the world's a stage, and the men and women merely players.

so with photos pending, this past weekend was the montreal ultimate tournament, comedy of errors, where i had the privilege of picking up with a team from good ol' boston, merely players. following a trend of shakespearean themed titles every year, coe is known as a fun summer tournament held in montreal for a multitude of canadian ultimate teams, and a couple us teams based out of boston, mass. this year, the americans consisted of us, the merely players, and flowchart ultimate, a buda summer league team.

within the duration of coe, this was easily the hardest and best i've played ultimate in a long-ass while, and quite easily one of the tournaments i've had the most fun at. it was all for laughs, but competitive enough to push and motivate. all well-spirited, but just as intense. i may have injured myself within the first half of the first game there, but whatever. so much fun, i really didn't care. i didn't sit in the car for a five and a half hour drive to sit on the sidelines and nurse my hamstring...then ankle...then knee. psshhh...i was there to play. compared to what i had been feeling ultimate-wise for the summer so far, this was a breath of fresh air. a truly welcomed, aggressive, productive, ultimate-filled breath of fresh air.

we didn't do quite as well as we'd hoped. going for gold, we ended up fifth after going 6-1 all weekend, with the one loss ending on universe point in a tough game against toronto's monster in the quarterfinals. had it not been for that one loss, we may well have achieved our goal and won the tournament seeing as the winners of coe were the montréal all-stars, who we had beaten solidly on day one 13-9. oh well, at least this still has the team in good standings for the tournament next year.

big thanks to sasha for arranging all this and letting me come along to play with the merely players. it was the competitiveness, intensity and level of play i had been looking for for a long while now. and i'm glad i got a chance to get a taste of it.

next up: wildwood. sweet.

protegera nos foyers et nos droits.

l'entrée au canada quand je suis visitée à montréal le weekend dernière pour un tournoi du frisbee.

sex on the beach.

...okay. not really. but c'mon! ^

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

there's a cure, you've found it.

woohoo! stripping and scraping done!

let the fun part begiiiiiiinnnn!!!!....



...at some point. soon.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

you paint that shit gold.

having a job opportunity you thought you had in the bag fall through on you feels like shit. good thing is: there's nothing like good, old-fashioned, hands-on work to make yourself feel better and useful. i love it. the feeling of physically doing something useful and seeing the fruits of your labor come into being right before your eyes. awesome.

i wasn't allowed to paint my room when i was younger, and looking back, it never made sense to do that in hk anyway. but now i can! paint a room that is. it may not be mine, but its a project that's special to me anyway. i'm glad we're getting the chance.

<-- the left side of the room currently, and what the room looked like originally. plastic-y, made-to-look-like-wood wallpaper [apparently with multiple layers of old wallpaper underneath it, too.] with plastic, wood-like molding along the ceiling line.




the central view of the room. -->
old wallpaper has been torn off but there are still scraps of previous wallpaper left behind with adhesive residue. gross. seriously. the stuff, when you scrape it off, looks like greasy, stringy chicken bits of fat.





<-- the right side of the room at the time. after finally scraping the surfaces clean, we have ready-to-prime drywall underneath. who's excited?? this kid!






so these photos were taken some time in the afternoon. working from 1pm-ish until 10-something pm, we've managed to scrape and clean about half of the room. tasks left: the other half, clean the ceiling, prime and paint walls, paint ceiling, paint windows and doors/frames. all while constantly rearranging furniture out of the way so we can actually access the walls we're working on. wonder how long this will all take...

i seriously love doing this stuff though. i could spend the whole rest of the summer doing stuff like this and be happy.

lessons learned: gender stereotypes are meant to be fucked with.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

ouch.

this somewhat defies the point, no?

Monday, June 29, 2009

her world collapsed early sunday morning.

not knowing where to call home, where you belong, where you'll feel most welcome. not knowing where will _feel_ like home.

there's knowing where you need to be. it's where someone needs to be for something important like school or a job location that you've been sent to. it's not exactly somewhere you've chosen to be because of it's location necessarily or that you really know much about it. but it's somewhere you end up because life choices have led you there by assignment. i'm in pittsburgh for most of year because i need to be. it's where i applied to and ended up in university. i don't love the place, and given the option, i don't think i'd choose to move there for any other reason, but it's where i've ended up because of previous life and career decisions. it made sense at the time, and i had no real objections to it. i don't mind it.

there's knowing where you should be. it's where your family is, where your roots are. again, this location is not really by your own choices, but by the luck of the draw. it's where choices before you were made and so you ended up there. for awhile, it happens to be where it makes sense to go back to whenever you need somewhere to go. even though i was brought up for most of my life in hong kong, it doesn't mean that, given the choice, i would choose to move there just because i feel like it. it just happens to be where i go back to because i still have family there. i like the city scene, but i could never live directly in one. i like peace and quiet, but i can't be that removed. hk isn't exactly a place that automatically brings images of sprawling, tranquil suburbs to mind. it's not where i'd choose to be, but again, it makes sense from time to time. and i don't mind it. in small doses.


then there's knowing where you want to be. or where you thought you did. it's the place you've come to love, and the place you've come to feel happy to come back to. it's completely voluntary and under your control. and because of this, it's where you feel most free. it's where you want to fit in because it all makes sense to you now, in the moment. it's not really describable. there aren't really any tangible reasons. but it's what you want. i've come to really like boston, maybe even love it. having only spent two years here at the end of high school, that may sound a little strange and rash. but hey, i don't know what it is. i've come back every break since, no matter how long or short that visit has been. whereas in hk, i barely know anyone anymore, i still have friends here and people i somewhat know. whereas pittsburgh is there for school, here i can live a little less stressed in a place that has come to be more and more familiar to me as time has gone by.

but what if all those distinctions change? what if where you need to be ceases to really feel like a necessity to you anymore because you see another way? what if where you should be has just suddenly turned into somewhere you don't want to be? and what if the situation where you want to be has changed to the point where you wonder why on earth it was that you wanted to come back here in the first place? distinctions have been altered to the point where the lines defining your reasons are blurred. one reason has morphed into another and what was a "need" became a "should", what you "should" you don't want to think about, and what you "want" just doesn't feel right and has become just that little bit bleaker.

do you stay, figure out what changed, and fix it? or do you move on to find new places to fit those distinctions?

i mean, i'm pretty adventurous with some things. but i have to admit that latter option doesn't really do much except scare, intimidate and stress the bejeezus out of me. is that a life decision/choice dictating what my next step could potentially be?

i think it just might be.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Up!

After holding off in NY with Anna and seeing 'Angels & Demons' instead. I finally saw it a couple of nights ago!!

Don't worry. No spoiling details in case you haven't seen it yet. Well, okay. Minimal details.

It's probably the first Disney [albeit Pixar] villain that's actually evil in awhile. Sitting through this movie, I kept getting the feeling that this Disney-Pixar production was significantly darker than recent previous animations. This was probably because, other than the initial somewhat sadness-inducing sequence of scenes depicting Carl's [the main character's] life with his wife, Ellie, until she dies, the main villain in the movie, Charles Muntz, is actually...well...a villain.

As Disney has developed their animated movies, with the additional influence of overprotective, paranoid parents complaining about the overly dark nature of the bad guys in the movies they were taking their kids to see, these supposed "evil" characters transitioned from actually evil, almost-psychotic Ursula [Little Mermaid] and Cruella de Vil [101 Dalmatians], to honestly just plain stupid. They're not longer evil because of their villainous intentions, but are labelled bad guys purely because their being dumb and the dumb things they do happen to have a negative effect for all involved à la Prince John [Robin Hood], Captain Hook [Peter Pan].

Up! changes this somewhat. I'm not sure it counts as a 3D animated made in conjunction with Pixar, but its a refreshing change. Muntz' active evilness to get what he wants by any means necessary is certainly a welcome upgrade, although I'm curious to see what parents think of this new childhood-hero-turned-psycho-killer-over-some-bird character when they take their kids to go see what they expect to be yet another cookie-cutter Disney-Pixar production.

At least Disney-Pixar writers got the right idea in terms of balancing darkness with some sweet sugary goodness...in the form of five bajillion talking puppies running around everywhere, who, although are there to do Muntz' bidding, still hold onto that puppy innocence that allows them to be distracted by the simplest pleasures of a squirrel or a tennis ball. Best of all is Dug, the first and awesomest talking pup of them all! From whom I've also learnt a nice, new trick or two to use myself. POINT!! I wish that stuffed Dug toy at the Disney store wasn't so expensive. Dug and Russell, the little asian boy scout who helps Carl along his way to Paradise Falls, provide perfect comedic counterpoints to Muntz' psycho, house-burning bird-search rampage.

I also want a Kevin.

Friday, June 26, 2009

my life according to google.

type in the following and choose from the first page
1: type in "[your name] needs" in the google search:
ginie needs help...
yarp.

2: type in "[your name] looks like" in google search:
ever wonder what an evil genie looks like?!
haha. ouch.

3: type in "[your name] hates" in google search:
ginie hates dr. robotnik's applesauce!!
ew.

4: type in "[your name] goes" or "..has gone" in google:
ginie goes completely batshit insane
HAHAHAH!! YES!!

5: type in "[your name] loves" in google search:
ginie loves johnny.
oops.

6: type in "[your name] eats" in google search:
ginie eats breakfast for breakfast.
on another note. most of the other choices were where people _really_ couldn't spell guinea pig. ie. ginie pig.

7: type in "[your name] has" in google search:
ginie has been there...
deep. no, seriously. where have i been?

8: type in "[your name] works" in google:
how ginie works.
huh. i should find that manual.

9: type in"[your name] lives" in google search:
the ginie lives.
why, yes. yes, i do.

10: type in "[your name] died" in google search:
ginie died in the jungle serving orphans.
seriously! again! g-u-i-n-e-a! not g-i-n-i-e!

11: type in "[your name] will" in google:
ginie will show you techniques that can turn you into a dynamic teasing flirt!
ooh babyyy...

Thursday, June 25, 2009

huck. bid. pillage. and burn.

i'm on a team for the summer. which makes it my team in the sense that its the team i've chosen to commit myself to for the summer and do what i can to better them. but it's also not. i'm not one of them yet. i'm just a tag-along for now.

but unfortunately, that doesn't do anything to stop the frustration i feel with this team. i haven't been given the chance to play the positions i normally play, the ones i'm most comfortable playing, nor the ones that i play best in. they're the positions that i play best, and therefore, they're the ones that i feel like, had i been playing them, would be most beneficial to the team. i think.

i'm now stuck feeling like they're getting the wrong idea about how strong a player i am. i actually feel like i'm being treated like a rookie. it feels like shit and i honestly didn't think i'd have to deal with that again. but at the same time, because i tend to try to consider both sides of every situation, i've forced myself to believe that the captains know what they're doing and have possibly made these decisions because i had made it known that i could be pretty versatile on the field and that i could potentially do it better than other people in this position. it just doesn't help that, in the last game we had, i was stuck playing a position that i've basically decided i hate. i hated it in high school, hated it with the hkupa, and hated it in college. also not helped by the fact that i literally have not been a popper/cutter in a zone in years. i'm rusty. it just makes me feel more useless and more like a rookie.

i think, of how frustrated i'm getting with merge, what bothers me most is that i don't like that i feel this way. they're a good group of people, all fun and whatnot. so i don't know how to deal with this frustration. i like the team, they're fun, and i want to be able to better the team and help them as much as i can. i just don't think i'm being given that opportunity.

i'm hoping things will work out after a couple more practices. or at least when i get to know the other captains better and just talk to them about it. i can't let it get to me. i don't want to do something i'll regret later. i want to play ultimate. i want to have fun doing it. i need a way that'll let me do that.

-------------------------------------edit------------------------------------------

so this overall position may have changed a little. i haven't quite decided if it's better yet, but we'll see.

on the other hand. holy hell, that was probably one of the worst feeling practices ever. i think i've only ever been that pissed off at a practice once. bad decisions were made, good decisions were screwed up by skewed fundamental skills, there was a general lack of effort. the only part i can look back on happily [or at least happiER-ly] was getting to handle, actively, for a good part of the main endzone drill. that felt good. even suicides and burpees at the end were more fun than the rest of practice put together. damn.

*crosses fingers*

dear god, i hope this works out...

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

never regret what once made you smile.

i'm indecisive in most things in my life. but regret is probably one of those things where it happens the most. as weird as it sounds seeing as regret isn't exactly a situation in itself so therefore its a little hard to define where the deciding factor comes in, but oh well. that's me. weird.

what do you do when you come to think you're regretting something, but upon further thought, there are still happy and positiv
e aspects to that which you think you regret? do you just stick to your guns and concluded that it was _overall_ a regrettable situation? or do you then, like me, come to a crossroads of regret versus then feeling a little bad because it wasn't _all_ regrettable?

when i can acknowledge that i absolutely 100% regret something, i know i can then just go ahead and cut whatever caused that to happen out of my life and not have it happen again. but at a crossroads, what do you do? you can't cut it out because parts of it made you happy. you can't just leave it in as is because it still made you miserable at some point or another.


"never regret what once made you smile" - can't do it. more than likely what made me smile also made me cry. let's call it 50-50.


step 1 :: get bored out of your mind


step 2 :: try everything possible to resolve step 1.

step 3 :: give up.

step 4 :: fuck it. start a blog.

step 5 :: see how it goes before letting anyone know of the epic fail that is your life that led to this god-awful thing.






sweet.