seriously. i gradually came to the realization the other night that, pretty much since i started my job, i have now been paying my own way through life. obviously, there was some residual help from my parents just until i got my feet under me and could actually get on my way, but otherwise, everyday finances like rent, bills, shopping allowance when i've felt the need for it has all come from my own pocket. what?!
what happened to the days of my mom checking in every semester to make sure i had enough money for food?? what happened to the begrudging process of having to contact my parents consistently throughout the school year to inform them that they would once again have to help me shell out cash to pay for more even more art supplies and textbooks? what did i mean i needed even more money for more cardboard and hot glue sticks?!
then there are the ultimate expenses, aka. the wonderful club sports budget at cmu. oh, you guys are driving to god-knows-where for a tournament? here, just use the school club sports budget. oh, the next tournament bid is $375? club sports budget. though some ultimate funding did come from the parents: oh, your cleats have blown out halfway through the season and you need to make an emergency run to get new ones? yea, turns out no one told me that the days of "...oh, that's okay. thanks for letting me know. just put it on my card..." are over.
i don't actually remember the last time i asked for pocket money because i wanted to go to the mall with my friends on the weekend. maybe high school? college was more a semester-long budget situation for daily necessities. what i got was what needed to last until i went home over christmas. anything shopping money or cash for non-essentials was earned from any on-campus jobs i could scrape up. the more i think abut it, i actually approve of and appreciate that whole situation. it was a smoother way to transition me into paying for my own extraneous shit without immediately dumping me into the deep end of dealing with all of the financials that being a college kid living off campus with a certain level of freedom entailed, which surely would have given me a heart attack five times over...per year of college. i wonder if there was a record for the most heart attacks endured within any given period of time. i bet i could've beaten it. thank god i didn't have to do that. i'm pretty sure i came close quite a few times and that was enough for me.
now, instead of checking in with the parents, the situation is more base on the concept of "let me check with my bank account". oh, you'd like a new pair of shoes? let's check to make sure your bank account is having a good day first. oh, you need to pay rent soon? better make sure your bank account is happy with more of that whole "getting paid" business. these happy levels predictably now fluctuate on a two-week schedule defined by every other thursday, as my personal financials slowly work their way up to "real person status".
the realization that this transition had happened pretty much came when i was time to buy plane tickets to fly back to hong kong for christmas. after chatting with jess for awhile, it came up that i felt bad that even after i had graduated and started my new job, our parents were still paying for my plane tickets home. my ever-so-level-headed sister then smartly pointed out that even though mama and papa kwan were covering the $1750 for roundtrip tickets between boston and hong kong, they were, in fact, no longer shelling out approx. $50,000/year for school now that i had finally graduated from my five-year program with a professional degree. so really, i cut down on my expenses for them by a solid $48,000. i'll take it! the goal now is to hopefully be in decent enough shape next year to be able to afford my own plane ticket. y'know, on top of that extraneous stuff i had previously mentioned that i plan on being able to purchase with my big-person money.
going christmas shopping today, i had a moment of "oooh...i want this! should i get this?...", in response to which, i got the somewhat standard answer of, "...::shrug::...it's your money."
it is my money.
that. is. terrifying.
 |
| "oh, you're going out for brunch?...yea, that one's on you too." |
Scary..... I stay in school... FOREVER!!!!! haha jk. But serious kudos to you for being so grown up! I remember when you were still a teenager.
ReplyDeleteI really had to think for a second about whether it was true that you actually knew me as a teenager. Architecture just took so long...:P
ReplyDeleteI dunno...drawing in a paycheck is definitely a nice change.