one down...and i'm out of here.

one week down. twelve [and a bit] more to go.

i can do that, right? it's that fucking with your mentality thing. were i worry about it day by day, i'd have to think about the 85 individual days i have left. were i to think about it in months, however...well, the word "month" just implies a much long time period anyway, so that's just a ridiculous way to go about things. but "weeks".

weeks is the perfect denomination in which to think about something like this. and because i am who i am, i'm going to think about it every once in awhile regardless, so i might as well go about it in the best way possible. its a doable length, having just gone through my first one, and the number of them between now and thanksgiving is not down to twelve, a very reasonable number. one i think i can deal with. not enjoy, or really be happy about, but deal and survive.

y'know, i figured it would feel lonelier being back here. without two of the people i could talk to most. maybe more than that if you just look at the end of last year. it just puts a damper on everything i do. like studio. i'll do it. and i can get through it, but it doesn't ever mean i actually want to be there nor will i get all that excited about it anymore. then there's ultimate. it's something i've loved for years, and at cmu it's something that's kept me sane when studio's become too much. but even that doesn't hold much excitement or something to look forward to anymore. again, i'll go through the motions, but not with great zest or anything. its something i'm doing because i know i should be doing it. it's not a distraction anymore. it's a responsibility.

it's a possibility these feelings will fade and get better as time goes on. i hope they do. for the most part. for now, i guess that's what cell phones, laptops and internet connections are for.

do you still read post secret? heck, you probably don't even read this. oh well...*shrug*